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How to Make Up Your Mind to Succeed(e-c)practice

How to Make Up Your Mind to Succeed
如何下定成功的心态
Mind-set is key to finding success for yourself and your children.
  心态是为自己及你的孩子寻找成功的关键。
Well-intentioned parents have unwittingly left their kids defenseless against failure. The current generation of millennials (born between 1980 and 2001) grew up playing sports where scores and performance were downplayed because "everyone's a winner." And their report cards had more positive spin than an AIG press release. As a result, Stanford University psychologist Carol Dweck, PhD, calls them the "overpraised generation." Fortunately, once you understand the situation, there's some quick corrective action that can be taken. And even if you're well past your child-rearing years, her advice will help you better withstand setbacks.
  好意的父母们会无意中让自己的孩子在面对失败毫无防范。千年一代（在1980-2001年之间出生)在体育运动中成长起来。分数和表现被低估，因为“每个人都是赢家”。他们的学籍卡上积极程度超过了美国国际集团的媒体发布。结果，出现了斯坦福大学心理学家Carol Dweck,博士称之为“过高赞誉下的一代”。幸运的是，一旦你理解了这个情况后，有一些迅速的纠正方式。而且，即便你早就超过了抚育儿童的年龄，她的建议对你更好承受挫折也有帮助。
Dweck has been studying how people handle failure for 40 years. Her research has led her to identify two distinct mind-sets that dramatically influence how we react to it. Here's how they work:
  Dweck 研究人们如何处理失败的时间有40年。她的研究让引导她发现了两个明显不同的心态。这两种会显著地影响到我们对失败做出的反应。描述如下：
A fixed mind-set is grounded in the belief that talent is genetic--you're a born artist, point guard, or numbers person. The fixed mind-set believes it's entitled to success without much effort and regards failure as a personal affront. When things get tough, it's quick to blame, withdraw, lie, and even avoid future challenge or risk.
  固定心态是基于把才华看做遗传--你是天生艺术家、控球后卫或善于数字的人--这一看法。固定心态认为不要费多大努力就有权获得成功；它把失败看做个人的侮辱。当情况困难，会很快地去怪责、退缩、撒谎并回避将来出现的挑战或风险。
Conversely, a growth mind-set assumes that no talent is entirely heaven-sent and that effort and learning make everything possible. Because the ego isn't on the line as much, the growth mind-set sees failure as opportunity rather than insult. When challenged, it's quick to reassess, adjust, and try again. In fact, it relishes this process.
 相反，成长心态认为没有什么才华完全是上天赐予，努力和学习可以让一切成为可能。因为没有那么多地处于风险中，所以成长心态把失败是看做机会而不是侮辱。遇到挑战时，它会迅速地重新评估，调整，再一次努力。实际上，它会对这一过程津津乐道。
We are all born with growth mind-sets. (Otherwise, we wouldn't be able to survive in the world.) But parents, coaches, and teachers often push us into fixed mind-sets by rewarding certain behaviors and misdirecting praise. Dweck's book, Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, and online instructional program, brainology.us, explain this in depth. But she says there are many little things you can start doing today to guarantee that your kids, grandkids, and even you never get derailed by failure.
  我们每个人都天生具有成长心态。（否则，我们就无法在这个世界生存）可是，通过对某些表现奖励，和误导表扬，父母、教练和老师们经常将我们推入了固定心态。在Dweck'所著的”心态，：成功新心理学“及网上辅导计划brainology.us,上进行了深入的解释。然而，她说有许多小事情你可以从今天就开始进行，保证你的孩子、孙子/女，甚至是你自己永远不会被失败击毁。
FOR KIDS
对孩子
In school
Never compliment a child by saying "You're so smart" or "You picked that up so quickly." Instead, praise effort or strategy by saying "That was clever of you to take that approach" or "I'm proud of your persistence." Listen for similar remarks from teachers and correct them.
  不要用”你真聪明“或”你学习速度真快“的话表扬孩子，而是去表扬努力或方式，可以说：”你用那个方法很聪明“或者说，”对你的坚持我感到自豪“。 注意听老师们说出同样的话，并纠正他们。

In sports
Instead of "You're a natural," say "Practice is really making you better." Instead of inquiring "Did you win?" ask "Did you give your best effort?" Explains Dweck, "Talent isn't passed down in the genes; it's passed down in the mind-set."

  不是是说：”你天生这方面就行“而是说：”练习的确让你做地更好“ 不要问：”你赢了吗？“而是问：”你尽到最大努力了吗？“Dweck解释道：“才华不是靠基因而是心态传递”
At the dinner table
Instead of the standard "How was your day?" (which everyone dreads anyway), ask "What did you learn today?" or "What mistakes did you make that taught you something?" Describe with zeal something you're struggling with. "Instill a passion for learning," says Dweck.

  不是说：“今天怎么样？”标准式问题(这个问题总会令每个人都会讨厌)，而是问：“今天学到了什么？”或：“犯了哪些的错误教会了你一些东西？”带着热情地描述遇到的某个困难。Dweck说：“把激情注入学习中”
In making plans for the future
Don't just ask about goals; ask about the plan for reaching those goals.

 不要仅仅询问目标；问一问达到那些目标的计划
In frustration
当沮丧时
Don't permit children to refer to themselves as losers, failures, stupid, or clumsy. "Never let failure progress from an action to an identity," says Dweck. Likewise, don't label your kids. Don't say this one is the artist, and this one is the computer geek. Anyone can be anything.
  不要允许孩子把自己叫做失败者、蠢人。 Dweck说:"绝对不要让失败从一次行为发展为一种身份“ 同理，不要给孩子用头衔。不要说这个（孩子）是艺术家，那个是电脑怪才。谁都可以成为任何角色。
In doubt
当怀疑时
If you encounter skepticism, ask the child to think of areas in which she once had low ability and now excels, or to recall a time when she saw someone learn something or improve in ways not thought possible.
  如果你遇到了（孩子的）疑问，让孩子考虑曾经那些能力低而现在却表现出卓越的方面，或者回忆起某个时候他/她发现某人学会了某样东西或者在过去被认为不可能的方面获得了提高。FOR YOU对你而言
At work
在工作中
Instead of letting salary, benefits, and status define job satisfaction, ask yourself if you're still learning. If the answer is yes, then you're fortunate to have a job that encourages a growth mind-set. View its challenges as opportunities rather than stress. If you've stopped learning, then consider looking either for new avenues of growth or for another job.
  不要让薪水，福利和地位定义你的工作满意度，问一问自己是不是还在学习。如果回答是，那么幸运地是你有一份鼓励成长心态的工作。将工作的挑战看成是机会而不是压力。如果你已经停止了学习，那么考虑要么寻找新的成长途径或新的工作。
In relationships
在关系中
Blame never resolves anything. It's merely the fixed mind-set insisting that you're right. The next time you're tempted to blame, says Dweck, remember that "the whole point of marriage is to encourage each other's development."
  责怪解决不了任何问题。那仅仅那是"固定心态”在坚持认为你是对的。Dweck说，下一次，当你想要责怪时，记着”婚姻的一切是去鼓励对方成长“
When feeling down
在心情消沉时
People who are depressed tend to believe that's just the way they are. Instead of viewing yourself as a failed end product, think of yourself as a temporarily derailed work in progress. "We usually think of personality as something very stable," says Dweck, "but we're finding that even core parts of it can be changed by shifting mind-sets."
  抑郁中的人们往往认为他们就是那个样子。别将自己看做一个失败的最终产品，而是考虑为一个零时”脱轨“的、进行中的作品。 “我们通常把性格看成是某种很稳定的东西”Dweck说：”可是我们发现即便是其中的核心部分也能通过转变心态来改变“